On Life and Marriage

Tonight I had a lesson in life.

A few of us from work went out for pizza and it was a good laugh because it was a big group of us and there was a cacophony of laughter and hooting and jeering and clapping and shouting across one end of the table to the other. 

However, amongst all the chaos there were also whispered and hushed outpourings of emotions and feelings about life.  

When you are stuck in a loveless and meaningless marriage, what do you do? How do you find happiness?

When you have two young children to think about and no family support, do you have the courage to walk away and start afresh?

Sometimes, when you learn about other people's problems in life, apart from feeling sorry for them, it also puts your own life into perspective. Suddenly, you appreciate that although sometimes you can't have what you want, at least you have a happy life. 

I think marriage is a tricky thing. I have never been married so I am not qualified to say a lot about it. But what I do learn from talking to people and reading about others' lives is that people who are in a happy marriage, are very lucky people indeed.

When a marriage has failed, does it mean that the two people who originally fell in love and got married, do not love each other anymore?

When a marriage has failed, does it mean that the two people did not try hard enough to make it work?

8 out of 10 ten times, failed marriages always end rather horribly. Why is that?

Like I said, it is a tricky thing and I can bet you nobody will have the right answer to that. 

It is only my random but meaningful pondering for tonight.

If you are in a happy marriage, I am truly happy for you. Love and cherish your other half, always.

Sometimes it's a bitch

Normally when there has been a bad episode at work (the one which I have to smile a lot), I usually get over it quite quickly and shrug the whole thing off in a matter of minutes.

For the past two days however, I have been deeply disturbed by a bad experience at work on Friday night. It was not really, really bad, if you think about it, but I just can't seem to get it out of my mind.

As usual, it was around 7pm, I was the only serving assistant at the till and I had four customers queueing at the till. When I was still serving a young customer, the next customer in line  (an old chap) practically shoved him aside and crossed that 'invisible line' where you're not meant to cross until you are being served. So, naturally, being a good customer assistant (kepo and brave at the same time), I tried to say something in the nicest possible way I can to help the customer understand what he's done.  It turned out to be the one thing that I would regret doing later on. Here goes the conversation...

Me : Excuse me Sir (see how polite I am?), this gentleman is still being served, if you don't mind standing back just a little?

Old man : (With eyes glaring like they're gonna fall out of their sockets)YOU DON'T MIND ME DOING WHAT I LIKE TO DO AND YOU CARRY ON WITH WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING. I'M STANDING HERE DOING NO HARM.

Me : (Shocked, a bit red-faced but composed, giving change to the previous customer)Ahem, your change, 12 pounds 75 pence. Thank you and have a good evening.

Old man : WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. WELL ARE YOU GOING TO SAY SOMETHING OR HAVE YOU NOT GOT A TONGUE?!

Me : (Still scanning the items bought by the old man, *toott* *toott* *toott*)That's 3 pounds 76 pence, PLEASE.

Old man : (giving me money and still grumbling, I didn't fully hear what he was saying coz by then I 

had lost interest and was too humiliated to comprehend)

After I had given him his change, he was still standing at the end of the till packing his stuff and glaring at me at the same time so I tried to be as composed as I am and started serving the next customer, just to let him have a taste of his own medicine (I usually like to wait until the previous customer has left the till before I start serving the next customer because I believe it's rude otherwise).

Like I said, it was not a really really bad experience as in I wasn't slapped or being called names but I just cannot get it out of my mind. It kept playing at the back of my mind, the way he looked, his awful facial expression and also the phrase 'have you not got a tongue'. I think partly because I regretted not doing what I should have done. What I should have done was not to sit there and take it in like that. What I should have done was to ring the bell for assistance and refuse to serve the old man for being extremely rude, unnecessarily. Just because we are working at a supermarket, wanting to earn a decent living, it does not mean that we deserve to be treated with disrespect. That's what's bugging me, I think. What I should have done.

I'm hoping that after blogging about it, I will feel a lot better. Next week when I get into work again on Tuesday, I know that I'll be a little wary and phobic in case he should come through my till again. I want to be able to get over this episode and move on.

Monday morning

My Monday started off with remembering what a lovely Sunday Steve and I had, driving along part of the Jurassic Coast, chewing on beefy Biltong bought from a South African shop, snacking on naughty Fruity Chutney Nik Nak (similar to Twisties) and drinking some really refreshing home-made Apple Juice made with Dorset apples, bought from the Goldy's Farm Shop. We started the morning at the Urban Reef restaurant at Boscombe Pier with a nice breakfast of pancakes drenched in maple syrup, garnished with strawberries and blueberries. We then drove from Boscombe, along the coast to Southbourne... and stopped at Christchurch to get the Biltong.

From Christchurch we drove all the way to Hengsbury's Head, and through Barton-on-Sea, heading towards Milford-on-Sea. It was such a beautiful and clear day that we could see the Isle of Wight so clearly and honestly if you were to wave at someone standing on the hilltop of the Isle of Wight, that person would be able to see it and wave back at you. It was just lovely and relaxing and the best way to spend a Sunday, pottering about, doing nothing.

It's a shame we didn't have our camera on us so we couldn't take any pictures, but I managed to pinch a few pictures off the Internet and hopefully I don't get done for breaching copyright, hehe.

Here is a picture I found on the Internet, showing you the image of the Isle of Wight from Milford-on-Sea.

Steve said that I am a very strange 'sight-seeing' person. I love going to places, seeing places in the car. When I get to the destinations, it is not really important if I get down or not. I can still fully appreciate the beauty and the novelty of being to a new place, within the warmth and comfort of the inside of the car. That is also called laziness. It is always, always cold and windy outside so I like going to places, but staying in the car (I know, very strange, and also very lazy).

When we were parked at Milford-on-Sea, there were other couples (elderly, haha) who were doing the same thing. They even came prepared with coffee in a thermal jug, newspapers and some sandwiches !! So I am not so weird after all.

I was supposed to meet up with some colleagues from work for some pizza in the evening but that got cancelled because one of them had to work late. Never mind, after all the palaver of organising it and it didn't take place, which was quite funny.

So we had dinner of pork chops and mash potato with gravy and as usual, a whole corn on the cob for me (coz it's my favourite and Steve's dad buys it especially for me)... and we also had spinach from the garden on the side (very nice) ...

It's Monday and I'm loving it... because I had a beautiful and relaxing Sunday.

Now, it's time to get some work done...

Dirty Dancing

Tonight, a few of us got together at Luce's place and had a screening of 'Dirty Dancing', our very own personal tribute to the great Patrick Swayze.

Luce made some crepes which went down really well with everyone and although we had arrived at 7 ish, we didn't start the movie until almost 9pm because everyone was just so excited about catching up with one another. So after some crepes were had with Nutella, or sugar with a squeeze of lemon juice, eventually we started playing the movie and it was every bit as good as I remember it to be. It brought back so many memories. I remember watching the movie the first time when I was 17 at my best friend's house, supposedly doing our revision for our exams. We fell head over heels in love with Patrick Swayze then and we all wished we could dance like 'Baby'. And I also vaguely remember us rewinding the tape (those were the days huh?!) back and kept playing the last 20minutes of the movie, over and over and over again so that we could watch the 'ultimate' dance again and again and again... Those were the days.. some really fond memories of my high school days.

What kind of fond and funny memories did 'Dirty Dancing' bring back for you?

On why I nearly threw my new laptop out the window!!!

I cannot believe that it's been 5 days since I got my new laptop and I still have not had the chance to properly 'play' with it or use it yet...

Here's how the story goes...

Long, long time ago, when you buy a new pc/laptop/notebook/netbook, you will find a vacuum-sealed pack of documents, instruction booklet, guide and most importantly, a Windows back up disk, or disc whatever you want to call it.

That time is long gone.

These days, user guidebook - install online.

Instruction - go to www.blablabla.com

Windows back up disk -- buy either 2 DVD or 14 CD's and make them yourself !!!

Which I did. Gave the other half very specific instruction on Thursday to get me blank DVD and despite getting back from work at 10.15pm and tired like a dog, I took a quick shower and sat the notebook on me lap and got cracking.

The reason I had to do this before anything else is quite obvious. A factory default back up disk means you don't play with it and mess up the settings and everything... a factory default back up disk means you do it right from the start, so that in case you need to reformat your system, you get it back to how you originally found it.

So I got started and found it quite easy because there was already a pre-installed software for the job and all one has to do is follow instruction. But when it came to burning onto the DVD, I encountered problems. Since there are so many versions of DVD out there, DVD-RW, DVD+RW, DVD-R, DVD+R, 16x, 8x, 6x, 4x, da da da, I put it down to the other half having bought the wrong DVD so I went to bed feeling a little annoyed that I had to wait another whole day before I get to touch my new laptop again.

The next day, I found another type of DVD (which is supposedly compatible) and gave it another go. Still it didn't work. By that time, I was annoyed, frustrated and a bit angry.

So another bright idea was to look online to see if there have been similar problems in any online forum that I could find the solutions to. Of course did I not proudly brag that this laptop is the LATEST top of the range model, which meant that you won't find much information about it??!! Dang. By this time, profanity was the only thing that was coming out of my mouth.

I had no choice but to try and use 14 CD's in total to create my back up discs (it would have been only 2 DVD's had it worked).. So I got the first glimmer of hope when it finally managed to write onto the CD's. But by the 4th disc, the same problem ocurred and each time it would start writing on a brand new CD-R and stop halfway through and not complete due to verification problems. So I had to keep feeding it new CD's in the hope that the next one will be completed !!! And the whole process of trying to burn 14 discs took an annoying 3 hours, and I was reaching disc 12, when I ran out of blank CD's to feed this, annoying, obnoxious, arrogant and greedy metallic monstar !!!!! So I was hoping that some of the rejected CD's might work so I kept popping them back and they kept being rejected. So I was at my wit's end and I tried the DVD's as well to no avail and in the end, the only thing I didn't do was to throw that damn thing out of the window. So, I had to end the job and live with the fact that the next time I start that back up process again, I will have to start from disc 1 (a painful experience I found out after I had finished burning disc 1 and 2 and had to terminate the process to go to work and come back to find that I had to start the whole thing again)

When I went to bed, I was beyond frustrated and threatened to throw the thing out the window. So Steve said that we'll take it back and get it changed for a new one. And I thought, as if anyone would allow you to take back a laptop so easily? But I had his assurance that he will deal with it *perhaps just to shut me up so that he can get some sleep?*

To make it short, all in all, I have ruined 31 CD's and achieved nothing !! Not to mention I am stuck with 10 blank DVD's that I can't take back or use.

I had to abandon the post half way through and as I am writing this paragraph now, it is 6 hours since I started this post and the latest update on the laptop issue -- we are getting a replacement on Tuesday (hoooray! Trust Steve to deal with customer service) but Tuesday is sooooo far away and am currently blogging on me ol' faithful (my old laptop).... I was a bit terrified that it won't start because it was in a strop with me for replacing it. But thank god, it didn't let me down and it started fine.

Anyways, these pictures show a happier times when I first opened the laptop!!

I am a silly aunt.

Every year, two weeks before my birthday, I will get a text from my sister-in-law asking for my postal address in the UK so that my lovely nephew and nieces can make a nice birthday card and post it to their aunt.

So this year, without exception, I received that text this morning. I replied, with my address and asked after her.

When I got the reply, the text told me that it was my little niece who was texting.... and then it hit me!! My little niece who I onced cradled in my arms to try and coax to sleep; my little niece who once sang 'Happy Birthday' over the phone in the cutest little voice... my little niece is now 7 years old and is now using the mobile phone to text me !!!!

I know I am a silly sausage for saying this but I did get a bit misty-eyed, looking at the text and thinking to myself.... awwwwwwwwwww. Before you know it, she'll be getting married next !!! Gosh....how time flies !!

Almost 10 long years ago...

It's amazing the kind of treasure you sometimes unearth when you do a bit of digging around.

I was riffling through the drawer just the other day looking for my certificates when I stumbled upon several pictures nicely tucked inside an envelope.

Crikey Blimey !!

The pictures are so old and memory of all those good ol' days some 10 years ago came flooding back...

This picture was unfortunately taken during the 'pre-digital' age so it's not so clear and the quality isn't great. But you can still see these young, happy and fresh faces of Bognor Regis very clearly, obviously enjoying a great feast while not forgetting to smile for the camera like typical Malaysians.

So we have Put the Princess from the left ~Put and I were in Miri together for a few years after MPIK and it was great getting to see her daugher and also getting to know her mum quite well (a really nice lady); Shafie ~ no comment, haha; Moi, with the tiny t-shirt that I will not be able to fit into anymore; Shaminie ~ at the moment happily married with two great kids, living in Hampshire; Fely ~ needless to say, my 'partner in crime' throughout the 6 long years of our course, a great companion, a good laugh, always ready for a giggle; Kak Yu ~ recently married, very happy for you girl; Beatrice ~ also another of my on and off 'partner in crime' who looks after me and feeds me well whenever I visit her in Reading; Munirah~ always very soft-spoken and very polite, and always with a nice smile on her face. In the background we have Maria, our Student Services Co-ordinator while we were in Bognor. And tucked away at the back, you can hardly see, is Sha, looking a bit 'hurt' I think for being excluded from the picture, haha. Oh yeah, can you see those shoes I was wearing in the picture? The biege one? Yesss... I still have them and am still wearing them. It seems that my feet are the only parts of my body which have not expanded too much, haha.

And then there's another picture I want to share with you.


This is taken during one of our stops in our round-the-UK-in-5-days-roadtrip!!

All 17 of us were working at Silverstone in Kent for the British Grand Prix, selling baguettes and picking rubbish, and sleeping like sardines in a shipping container (remember that??). And after the grand prix, six of us (yess, breaking the law the entire way by squeezing four people at the back of the car instead of three) got into a Renault and drove from London, to Birmingham, to Leeds, to Edinburgh, to Isle of Skye, back down to Edinburgh, then Blackpool, to the Lake District, past Manchester, and back to London again, all in 5 days.

So this picture was taken during our stop at Edinburgh when we were visiting Anusia and the lot. From the left we have Bea's sister's friend who tagged along; and then moi, and in front of me we have Dyanthi who cracked all sorts of funny jokes along the way; and then Anusia, in the middle, holding Bea (in a funny position, haha) and next to Anusia is Bea's sister; and next to her is our Ah Moi driver who drove us round the UK, queendrey aka Audrey.

If I remember rightly, at that time Anusia was cooking lunch for all of us. It's great to have friends all over the UK when we were here almost 10 years ago because most of our accommodation was free. We stayed with Lili and Audrey in London; and then with Bea's friend Gerard in Birmingham; and two nights I think in Edinburgh and the only place we had to pay for accommodation was at the youth hostel at The Isle of Skye!!

There is so much more that I wish to share with you and I could go on and on and on about all the things that I can remember from the good ol' Bognor days.... but for the time being, I think this will do.

Did I miss out anything that anyone would like to share ??

It's not that bad after all.

My work can be nice sometimes.

There are people who call me by my first name because they think I've got an interesting and nice name (I've not heard that one before, certainly not in Malaysia, in primary and secondary school when I used to get bullied to death because of my name).

There are people who you can take the mickey of and have a laugh with because you see them everyday at the till and you get to know them.

There are very elderly people who are always very nice and polite and who say 'thank you' to you like a million times just because you pack their shopping for them.

There are people who are probably very lonely and are always desperate for a quick chat at the till.

There are people who think I look 23 rather than 33 (bless, they're probably being polite)... I always say it comes with being Asian, haha (Bea and Fely would agree).

There are children who smile at you and say 'hello' to you in the cutest and sweetest voice.

So there you go, I tell myself, it's not that bad after all.

Don't be rude.

My work can be shitty sometimes.

Sadly, some people seem to think that because you end up working in a supermarket as a check-out girl you do not deserve any basic respect or kindness.

There are people who come through the till without even looking at you or saying 'thank you' after you have packed their shopping for them because they are busy talking on the phone.

There are people who are too busy chatting amongst themselves and forget that they are being served by a human and not a machine.

There are people who complain to you because they cannot find a specific item that they want to buy and seem to think that you own the store.

There are people who become impatient just because you did not hear them correctly the first time and they had to repeat themselves loudly, with hand gestures, and assume you have trouble understanding their language.

There are people who give you a funny look just because they have to wait slightly longer in a queue due to technical errors with the till.

So, next time you are at a supermarket, be nice, because sometimes it does take a lot of effort to be friendly and happy at the till.

Remember Carmona?

Many many moons ago, I posted an entry about a dying bonsai that I had 'rescued' from work with a picture showing the bonsai looking sad and and in 'ill-health'.

Today I am posting more pictures showing Carmona looking great, on my desk at work and with a little friend next to her.



So I've got two bonsai's at work and one time my colleague thought it was cute and labelled them 'I am little tree' and 'I am BIG tree', as you can see on the sticky note in front of each pot. I love looking at my bonsai's when I'm at work. When my eyes get tired from staring too long at the computer screen, I find it relaxing and extremly calming just looking at them and appreciating their uniqueness and beauty. I must admit I am no bonsai enthusiast who cuts and prunes and shapes. I go as far as giving them water whenever they need them and also leaving my used Chinese tea leaves on the soil, apparently to make them 'grow' better (myth i think more than fact). Other than that, they are pretty free to 'grow' however they like, haha. As long as they don't 'die' on me.

I am thinking of adding more collections to my 'natural' surroundings at work and will keep you posted when I do. Mean time, try a bonsai, you'll never know, you might just enjoy it as much as I do.

My latest obsession...

So last month, Steve rented the movie 'Twilight' because he thought that it was a chic-flick and that I would enjoy watching it (he'd seen it on the plane). Was he right about it or was he RIGHT about it?!!! Not only had I not fallen asleep (as I would with other movies, half an hour into the movie, regardless), after the film had finished, that night, I started reading the first book 'Twilight' and by the next day I was reading on the bus, on the toilet (i know, eeewe), at my lunch break, at my evening break at my second job.... basically I had my nose and face buried in the book whenever I can !! And when I can get away with it at work, I try to sneak a few searches here and there on the Internet on Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart and reading every little petty news article about them !!! I was an adult with a TEENAGE OBSESSION over Twilight and anything to do with Twilight !!!

After I had finished reading the first and second book of the series which belonged to Steve's brother, I wasted no time in going out and getting myself the third and the fourth. Very sadly, I came to the end of the fourth book last week and I remembered when I was reaching the end of the book I was reading everything slowly, word by word, alphabet by alphabet (just picture everything in slow motion), trying to prolong this obsession that I have and to make the ending last longer than it should have been. Inevitably, it came to an end.

However, my obsession did not end there. I started researching the Internet for clips of the songs from the original soundtrack and started learning to play it on my digital piano. When I was given my most beloved digital piano as a Christmas gift last year, I had been meaning to get myself a proper pedal set because the pedal that came with the digital piano wasn't great and it was just a movable sustain floor pedal where you press down with your foot and the most annoying thing is that the pedal keeps moving further and further away as you press on it and before you know it you're stretching your leg painfully just to get to it. Eventually I just got used to it and never got round to getting the set.

So last weekend, pushed by my Twilight obsession, I made my Steve ring all the music stores around the Bournemouth and Poole areas, managed to track down a shop with the pedal set in stock and made him drive me out and got stuck in the usual Saturday shopping jam, just to get the pedal set! And I didn't even flinch or blink when I paid a total of 50pounds on my debit card for my pedal set so that I can play 'Eyes on Fire' properly on my piano !! Imagine that kind of obsession !! Not only that, not only that, I EVEN VIDEO-ED MYSELF PLAYING THE SONG !!!! how sad is that??!!

Oh by the way, am reading Twilight for the second time round...